Raising a Dog & Mastering Calm Assertive Energy | Cesar Millan

Cesar Millan emphasizes that his success in walking packs of dogs off-leash, which initially garnered attention from the LA Times, stemmed from a consistent display of calmness, confidence, and silence. He explains that this energy is what allowed him to manage large groups of dogs effectively, contrasting with the common perception of dog handling in America. This approach highlights how an owner's demeanor significantly impacts canine behavior.

Millan redefines the concept of a leash, asserting that it represents trust, respect, love, human understanding, silence, calmness, confidence, joy, pack leadership, direction, and protection—not just restraint. He argues that dogs should ideally be well-behaved even off-leash, but the leash serves as a crucial tool for transmitting energy and managing reactivity when necessary. This perspective challenges conventional views on dog ownership.

Cesar Millan emphasizes that when a dog misbehaves, owners should strive to return the dog to a 'good state of mind' characterized by patience, calmness, and surrender. He contrasts this with undesirable states like fight-or-flight avoidance, highlighting that dogs respond best to human energy and actions rather than words.

During a sponsor segment for Joovv, Millan highlights the benefits of red light therapy, emphasizing its positive impact on cellular and organ health. He mentions improvements in muscle recovery, skin health, wound healing, acne reduction, pain and inflammation relief, mitochondrial function enhancement, and even vision improvement. He personally uses the device multiple times a week for 10-20 minutes.

Cesar Millan suggests that mastering the fundamentals of dog walking—understanding the dog’s position relative to the owner—can resolve 90% of common behavioral problems. He points out a prevalent mistake among dog owners, which is allowing their dogs to walk in front of them. By focusing on these basic principles, he believes most issues can be mitigated, with the remaining challenges requiring rules, boundaries, and limitations.

Cesar Millan explains that many dog owners greet their dogs with excessive excitement (squealing, high-pitched voices), which creates anxiety and negatively impacts the relationship. This behavior confuses the dog and can lead to them greeting other humans in an excited manner, potentially causing unwanted behaviors like jumping. He emphasizes that a calm, respectful approach is crucial.

Millan introduces three essential rituals to establish a healthy relationship with dogs: no touch, no talk, and no eye contact during initial greetings. The 'meeting' ritual involves reminding the dog of safety, peace, nose, eyes, ears, trust, and respect before allowing interaction. Following this is a calm walk where the dog follows the owner, and finally, feeding time. These rituals help establish the human as a leader.

Millan discusses the order in which dogs develop their senses: nose first (at birth), then eyes at 15 days, and finally ears at 21 days. This sequence highlights that early experiences are primarily processed through scent, followed by sight, and then sound. He contrasts this natural development with humans attempting to communicate with dogs using constant verbal interaction, which can create excitement instead of trust.

A special operations handler recounts an incident where a dog bit him after being allowed too close during a movie night, illustrating the importance of maintaining clear leadership and boundaries. Millan reinforces that animals act on instinct without conscious thought; any perceived 'attempts' to move up the hierarchy are simply reactions to shifts in energy from the leader. He stresses the need for constant vigilance and consistent behavior.

Cesar Millan emphasizes a structured routine for dogs that begins with exercise, followed by discipline (not punishment), and then affection. He explains that many dog owners prioritize affection over the crucial elements of exercise and discipline, which are essential for the dog's psychological well-being and overall behavior. This sequence establishes clear boundaries and provides structure, leading to a more balanced and well-adjusted animal.

Millan clarifies that 'discipline' in dog training is not about punishment but rather establishing structure and limitations. He explains that the word often evokes negative connotations for dog owners, leading them to misunderstand its purpose. True discipline involves guiding a dog through boundaries and routines, fostering success and well-behaved behavior, which ultimately strengthens the human-animal bond.

The conversation highlights that many dog owners are reluctant to walk their dogs or engage in distracted walking (e.g., on phones). Millan points out that a mindful walk, free from distractions and focused on connection with nature and the dog, is crucial for establishing a spiritual link between humans, animals, and the earth. This shared experience fosters a deeper bond and enhances overall well-being.

Cesar Millan proposes that 'dog' is simply 'God' spelled backward, suggesting that dogs serve as conduits to spiritual connection and the natural world. He argues that through interacting with dogs during walks and other activities, humans can reconnect with their own spirituality and appreciate the interconnectedness of all living things. This perspective emphasizes the profound relationship between humans and animals.

Cesar Millan emphasizes a specific order for building a healthy relationship with a dog, starting with trust and respect. He states that exercise, discipline, and mental stimulation come before love as a reward; prioritizing these foundational elements establishes boundaries and provides structure for the animal. This approach contrasts with typical human tendencies to immediately offer affection.

Millan explains that dogs don't just smell odors, but perceive the energetic state of humans. He describes how stress manifests as a chemical change in human bodies (sweat, etc.) which is then detected by the dog through their heightened senses—even before they use sight or sound. This highlights the importance of emotional regulation for handlers.

Millan critiques the tendency to measure animal intelligence based on human standards, such as teaching tricks or having them learn words. He uses the example of an octopus playing piano—a feat achieved through shaping with rewards—to illustrate that it reveals more about the trainer's persistence than the octopus’s inherent cognitive abilities. Millan argues this projection of human understanding onto animals is a form of short-sightedness.

Millan contrasts the way humans interact with dogs versus cats, explaining that dogs are pack-oriented and therefore more susceptible to human influence. He argues that 'humanizing' a dog—treating it as a person—is detrimental to the animal because it goes against their natural instincts. Cats, being less inclined to follow, are often left alone by humans.

Cesar Millan emphasizes that humans should respect dogs for who they are, not try to mold them into human-like beings. True affection stems from understanding and appreciating an individual's unique qualities, rather than imposing preconceived notions or desires upon them. This involves learning about their behavior and communicating with them in a way that acknowledges their inherent nature.

Millan draws parallels between dog behavior and non-human primate communication, highlighting the differences in how signals are interpreted across species. For example, a macaque monkey baring its teeth is considered an aggressive gesture, whereas similar displays in dogs might be misinterpreted by humans. This underscores the need for careful observation and understanding of animal body language to avoid miscommunication.

A significant point raised is the human tendency to project their own understandings and expectations onto animals, even when presented with evidence to the contrary. This can lead to misinterpretations of behavior and ultimately hinder a dog’s sense of safety and security. Millan encourages individuals to prioritize the animal's needs over their own desires.

Andrew Huberman stresses the importance of understanding dog biology and psychology, emphasizing that dogs are pack animals. He argues for shifting away from viewing them solely as 'pets' and recognizing their hard-wired instincts and behaviors, which require owners to act as effective leaders by managing their own energy and actions.

Millan stresses that love should be the final element in building a connection with a dog. Prioritizing safety, peace, trust, and respect creates an environment where genuine affection can flourish. This approach avoids imposing human expectations and allows for a more natural and harmonious relationship based on mutual understanding and acceptance.

Cesar Millan discusses his past belief in the adage "happy wife, happy life," where he attempted to fulfill all of his partner’s desires. He realized this approach led to him surrendering his own needs and identity, ultimately proving ineffective. He now emphasizes that each individual is responsible for their own happiness and that seeking a partner who aligns with one's instinctual nature is more fulfilling.

A friend’s advice highlights the spectrum of desired dynamics in relationships, ranging from seeking a partner who wants to be led to one who desires guidance and structure. This illustrates that individuals have varying needs for direction and control within a partnership, emphasizing the importance of honest communication about these preferences. The conversation underscores the need for open dialogue regarding relationship expectations.

Millan explains that while shared spirituality, emotional connection, and financial stability are important, the instinctual aspect of a relationship is unique. He believes his role as a confident leader—similar to how he leads dogs—is crucial for creating safety, peace, trust, and respect within his partnership. This requires him to embody patience, calmness, confidence, and love.

Millan stresses that leadership in a relationship isn't simply desired; it must be earned through consistent behavior. He emphasizes the importance of demonstrating patience, calmness, confidence, and love to cultivate trust and respect from his partner. This active demonstration is essential for establishing a stable and harmonious dynamic.

Cesar Millan explains that he occasionally uses a single, quiet command – a “tsk” – to address stubbornness in dogs. He emphasizes the importance of maintaining its potency by limiting its use; if used more than three times on a walk, it loses effectiveness. This demonstrates his approach to training which prioritizes subtle cues and avoids over-reliance on verbal commands.

The discussion highlights a common issue where dogs exhibit different behaviors with different people. The speaker notes that dogs may be respectful and obedient with one person but act out with others, particularly when the human lacks consistent calmness and assertiveness. This underscores the importance of energy and leadership in dog training.

Cesar Millan addresses a question about dogs behaving differently with different people, specifically women. He suggests that women often get caught up in emotions and intellectualizing situations, which disrupts the calm, assertive energy needed for effective dog training. He emphasizes that both heart and mind are necessary but that emotional distraction undermines leadership.

Cesar Millan draws an analogy between riding a horse and walking a dog, illustrating that both require calmness, confidence, and focus. He explains that the ability to remain composed and assertive in potentially dangerous situations (like handling a horse) demonstrates a level of control and energy that can be applied to dog training as well. This comparison highlights the underlying principles of leadership applicable across different interactions.

Cesar Millan explains that dogs, and humans, need to experience adrenaline as part of a healthy emotional cycle. Suppressing impulses entirely isn't beneficial; rather, the release of adrenaline is followed by a period of peace and calm. This process allows for a balanced energy state which can then be applied to interactions with loved ones.

Millan uses the analogy of a cold plunge to illustrate how humans can reset their energy. The experience, even without verbal communication, conveys a sense of well-being and calm. This feeling stems from connecting with nature and experiencing a controlled release of stress, which can then be transferred into interactions.

Millan discusses the science behind deliberate cold exposure and its effect on dopamine levels. He notes that this process produces a prolonged release of dopamine, which is rare outside of drug use; instead, a well-balanced relationship with a dog can provide similar long-lasting benefits.

Millan shares a deeply personal story about his bulldog, Costello, and his eventual passing. He emphasizes the importance of recognizing that a contract exists within the human-animal bond – an unspoken agreement to provide care and ultimately, a peaceful exit when the time comes. Millan stresses that acknowledging death is crucial for both the human and the animal.

Andrew Huberman shares his positive experience using Cesar Millan’s methods, specifically from the book 'Be the Pack Leader,' when raising his bulldog mastiff, Costello. He credits these principles for fostering an exceptional relationship with Costello, enabling him to confidently bring the dog into various environments and demonstrating its well-behaved nature over 11 years.

Cesar Millan emphasizes that dogs can sense even subtle shifts in an owner's energy and will take advantage if there is a lack of agreement or commitment. He recounts teaching a dog to wait on the bed, highlighting the necessity for the owner to be 100% aligned with the desired behavior; otherwise, the dog won’t comply.

Millan explains that leaders must possess an energy that is larger than those they lead. He contrasts this with human interaction, where deception might be possible, but with animals, genuine and consistent energy is crucial for establishing trust and guidance. The correct energy includes patience, calmness, confidence, love, and joy.

Cesar Millan suggests that owning a dog can serve as a 'gym' for personal development. He proposes a routine of practicing calmness, confidence, and love for 30-40 minutes daily to cultivate these qualities within oneself, which then translates into better handling of life’s challenges.

Millan cautions against the misconception that dogs will 'rescue' or fulfill unmet emotional needs. He shares a story about a friend planning to get two husky puppies, highlighting the potential for heartbreak and family strain if the commitment and resources aren’t sufficient, especially given the breed's high exercise requirements.

Millan introduces the concept of 'four worlds' – emotional, spiritual, instinctive, and intellectual – highlighting that true dog training involves challenging both the mind and body. He notes many people focus solely on the emotional aspect (love) which is easiest, but a complete approach requires engaging all four areas to foster a well-rounded relationship with a dog.

Cesar Millan emphasizes that a dog's behavior is a direct reflection of the owner’s energy, philosophy, and actions. This means working with a dog isn't just about training them but also about self-improvement; it’s a workout for oneself. The dog serves as an immediate feedback mechanism, highlighting areas where the human needs to adjust their approach.

Millan argues that achieving an off-leash bond isn't something to be paid for through professional training; it’s a personal accomplishment earned through consistent effort and self-improvement. This process necessitates utilizing one's spirit, instinct, heart, and mind daily, ultimately leading to a more natural and profound connection with the dog.

Millan re-emphasizes that his work isn't solely about rehabilitating dogs but primarily about training humans. He believes learning to interact with a dog effectively translates directly into improved life skills and better relationships in general, fostering responsible pack behavior and contributing positively to the family dynamic.

Cesar Millan points out that dog behavioral issues often reflect underlying human emotional or psychological factors. He emphasizes that animals act based on instinct and reaction, suggesting owners should not blame their dogs for 'wrong' behavior but rather examine the dynamics of the relationship and the owner’s own state of mind.